Dear Date,
Hi again. Let me start off by saying, I had a great time last night. It was nice to just get together and talk with someone… cuz, ya know, I just don’t do enough talking or whatever. Yeah, nobody believed that. I pretty much never shut up.
Lemme start over.
Hi, I had a lotta fun last night. But this is about the end of the evening… as is customary, the first date ended with a kiss, but I wanted to defend myself there. See, I swear I’m a better kisser than that.
I wasn’t sure if we were doing, like, a full-on kiss, if there was gonna be tongue or how long it was gonna be or anything like that.
Plus, the bouncer from the strip club across the street wasn’t helping matters… anyways, I just wanted to say, if I could get a do-over? Yeah, that’d be great.
I mean, I know we’re already going to a movie on Saturday so hopefully I didn’t fuck up that badly, but I just kinda wanted to defend my honor or whatever. I mean, I am a good kisser. Everybody says so.
Okay, not “everybody.” I mean, I’m not some sort of kissing slut or something.
Ya know what? I really don’t see myself winning this one, so I’ll leave it with “see you Saturday.”
Until then…
Sincerely,
Calhoun
