Dear “Big Ol’ Bottom”,
I wish I could say I was flattered.
I’m not.
In fact, I’m a little creeped out.
The truth of the matter is, going to a gay bar, you expect to run into a few oddballs, or at least I do.
Still, the whiskey breath paired with the poorly done tribal tattoos and general skeeziness?
It’s just not doin’ it for me.
Plus, considering you had to slur it in my ear at least three times before I understood what you were saying, your chances aren’t great.
Still, thanks for oversharing.
Oh, and remember when you misplaced the back lid of the toilet? That was good for a laugh too.
Thanks for the general amusement, but I’m still gonna hafta pass.
Sincerely,
Calhoun
