Dear UPS guy

Dear UPS guy,
I understand you’ve got a tough life. No, seriously, you’re a mail carrier, it’s like life bitch slapped you. It’s not fair. But still, let’s not take it out on my door buzzer, shall we? See, I even anticipated that I wouldn’t be home to sign, so I left a pleasant little note saying “hey man, it’s cool to just leave it inside.” I even signed it with my best “I swear I’m not a serial killer even though I write like one” signature. But what do I come home to? A UPS notice anyways. Then when I finally make it into my apartment it becomes clear that the door buzzer for my apartment has been stuck since… 2:16 PM, the time of your attempted delivery. It took me 30 minutes to get that thing unstuck, after it had been left ringing for close to 7 hours. Not cool UPS guy, not cool.
Sincerely,
Just Give Me My Goddamn Package in Chicago

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About Calhoun

Ever think those thoughts that don't seem important enough to put down on paper? Welcome to my life. I write random thoughts, movie reviews, and the occasional work of fiction. Take a look around, there's a little bit of something for everyone.

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