Dear John Boehner

Dear John Boehner,
I’ve never been one much for machismo or stereotyping. Mainly cuz if we followed those guidelines, every other word out of my mouth should be “fabulous” or “divine” with a heavy lisp, but enough about me. Let’s talk about you. Sure I could go on a long tirade about your politics, but let’s try to keep it civil, shall we?
No, this is about your crying. Seriously, do you know how many results Google Images returns if you search for “John Boehner crying”? Because the numbers are definitely not in your favor. And let’s take a look at what you’re crying over. Taxes? The perpetual demonization of single mothers? I can’t help but wonder… really? These are the things you wanna cry about?
But like I promised, I don’t wanna get too political, even though it’s difficult not to. I just wanna say one last thing. Suck it up, buddy. Not only is it cheap ploy that you’d expect to be taught at some bullshit community theater acting class, but you just look so incredibly lame when you do. It kinda makes all of us men from Ohio look bad when you pull that shit.
Dry-Eyed in Deerfield

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About Calhoun

Ever think those thoughts that don't seem important enough to put down on paper? Welcome to my life. I write random thoughts, movie reviews, and the occasional work of fiction. Take a look around, there's a little bit of something for everyone.

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