Dear Emo Rocker,
Normally you’d be the most forgettable part of my day, but something about your Justin Bieber look-alike haircut and skinny jeans caught my eye from across the el tracks. Well, not so much you as the incredibly hot girl that you were pretending to beat… I’ll assume your faux domestic abuse thing was an attempt to flirt with the girl who, for reasons unknown to me, seems to like you.
So I guess my question to you is, what’s your secret? Cuz let’s be real, it’s not the looks, so I’m guessing it’s one helluva personality or a killer sense of humor… although if pretending to beat your girlfriend is considered funny, I’m even more lost than ever. Just lemme know.
Confused and Concerned Citizen