Dear 30-Something in the Deep V-Neck

Dear 30-Something in the Deep V-Neck,
I know you’re feelin’ like hot shit, but I just had to tell you… your midlife crisis is showing.
Your “tragically hip” combover is one thing, but the shirt? Really? I mean, it’s just too much.
Forget the fact that nobody looks good in those things, but I just hafta ask, do you wax or shave?
Because the tiny red bumps all over your chest could really be from either…
Bottom line? Not a great look for you or your beer belly.
Can I recommend something a little less desperate?
Maybe something more along the lines of a nice J. Crew or Banana Republic?
Sincerely,
Fashion Forward on Fullerton

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