Dear Multi Pet,
I recently came across one of your dog toys. You know, the frog that croaks if you squeeze the little sensor inside of him? Anyways, it’s no big deal if you can’t remember the product because I can describe it in length for you, up to and including the pitch and duration of the pre-recorded croaks that the stuffed animal emits when squeezed.
How do I know so much about your product? Well, that’s a good question. I know these things about the toys because I hear them, on average, about a hundred times a day. See, my dog… well, God love him but he’s not always the sharpest tool in the shed. He’ll bite down on the little guy and then when the croaks start, he’ll drop it, look startled, then look puzzled, before biting it again just to see if it’ll make the same noise. For those who were concerned, yes, yes it does make the same noise if you bite it in the same place and set off the sensor.
The simple solution would be to take the toy away, but the sad eyes when I do proves too much.
Well, anyway, eventually Karl’s curiosity (that’s my dog’s name, Karl) got the better of him and he started ripping the frog apart. At one point I joined in and started helping him because the croaking had sort of an Edgar Allan Poe Tell-Tale Heart thing goin’ on and I couldn’t stop hearing the croaking.
You’ll be happy to know that the monstrous little box responsible for the hellish sounds fell out and just happened to find its way to the garbage can, but this is just a friendly suggestion… make a shoddier product. Make the voice box thing break easier, if not for your profit margins, then for the poor owners that hafta listen to it all day and night.
Dear Multi Pet,