Dear Random Reader

Dear Random Reader,
There are only, like, 10 or 15 of you so I’m sure you know who you are.
While I was flattered to wake up this morning to find an e-mail from WordPress, I was less impressed with the content when I opened it.
Don’t get me wrong, a crudely spelled “u r hot” should totally be taken as a compliment, but something about getting hit on via internet with only my tiny little Gravatar to blame just kinda bums me out.
We wouldn’t have worked anyway.
We’re from two different worlds. I’m from Chicago and you’re… well, actually, I have no idea where you’re from.
Hell, I don’t even know you’re gender.
Plus, if you find it socially acceptable to abbreviate a three letter word, I feel like we wouldn’t have much to talk about. I need someone to challenge me, to emotionally and mentally stimulate me, not someone who panders to the AIM/texting crowd.
… on second thought, after looking over the comment a second time, which was left on the “Dear Marky Mark” post, I’m pretty sure that comment was intended for Mark Wahlberg himself, who is definitely not one of my fifteen readers. Never mind Random Reader. After making an utter fool of myself, you and I may be on the same intellectual level after all.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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