Dear Easter Bunny

Dear Easter Bunny,
What’s your game, mister?
I know most of you holiday characters have weird backstories or habits that make you stand out, but I just can’t figure yours out.
I mean, you’re a bunny, but you lay eggs?
How do you even do that?
Furthermore, if what my parents told me is true, that you lay the eggs for children to find on Easter Sunday, then what the hell is wrong with you?
You’re letting children have butt eggs?
I mean, farmers at least clean off chicken eggs before shipping them off to market… And I still haven’t been able to figure out what you have to do with zombie Jesus and the whole religious aspect of the holiday.
All in all, color me a little confused. I don’t know what you’re up to, but I feel like it’s a good rule of thumb to never trust rabbits that lay eggs, so consider this your first warning.
I’m watching you, Easter bunny.
Apprehensive Easter Bunny Believer


2 thoughts on “Dear Easter Bunny

  1. I’m glad you addressed this issue of the “Easter Bunny” and love the picture. I told my kids the Easter bunny was a lie perpetrated by people who hated religion and were not clever enough to come up with Santa Claus. Outside of a few run-ins with the law and their potty-mouths, they are all perfectly adjusted college students with perfect, near cavity-free teeth.

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