Dear Homeless Man Waving His Dick at Me on the El

Dear Homeless Man Waving His Dick at Me on the El,
Look, it’s not that I’m not flattered. I mean, a guy like me?
I’m surprised a man with three remaining tobacco-stained teeth would ever notice someone like me, but you went ahead and made my day anyway, didn’t you?
I just feel like it would never work.
Call me old-fashioned, but I like at least the offer of a drink before we get to that very serious stage of our relationship where you start randomly flashing me, but we didn’t even get to have a beginning and now, I’m afraid that it might be the end.
I’m no good for you anyway.
I’m too high maintenance. I wanna live the high life. You know, four walls, a ceiling, maybe even some running water?
It’d just never work out.
But don’t think for a second that I wasn’t flattered.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Dear Homeless Man Waving His Dick at Me on the El

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s