I know this notion of self-respect is a little foreign to you (and by “you”, I guess I really mean “me”) but we gotta work on something.
I mean, it’s getting to be pretty ridiculous.
People are telling you stories about things you did that you don’t even remember doing.
Taking off your shirt and using it to clean up a spill?
Not the best use of your time… nor is it nearly as charming as your drunken self might have thought it would be.
The fact of the matter is, I don’t even know you. Once again, by “you” I find myself meaning “me.”
Sure, we could blame it on the alcohol. In fact, I’d really appreciate it if we did, but in the course of a week, when you find yourself getting drunk and flashing people multiple times? Well, I don’t really know what to make of that.
It’s not like I’ve even got much to show under there, although I guess that’s not really the point…
Anyways, self, I think it’s about time we introduced you to the notion of self-respect… or maybe just moderation.
I’m Sure I’ll Regret Writing This by the Next Party