Dear Handsy Aunt

Dear Handsy Aunt,
Yes, it’s nice to meet you too.
That’s sweet of you to say that you’ve heard a lot about me… unfortunately, I can’t say the same.
Nope, there was no warning whatsoever.
Oh, we’re a family of huggers, are we? Is there seriously no way I can get out of this hug?
Not even if I lied and said that my uncle bad touched me when I was a kid so I don’t like physical affection?
Damn, that was my A-list material too…
Okay, let’s just get this over with… wow, that hand really lingered there, didn’t it?
I admit I may not be the most physically intimate guy out there and sure, maybe I’ve got some weird stuff about touching, but that was definitely uncomfortable for me and just about everybody else in the room.
Okay, I hafta go pretend that I’ve got something else to do… but, really, it was… it was great meeting you.
Sincerely,
Officially Uncomfortable

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