Dear Professor

Dear Professor,
I feel like you’ve been at this for, what? Like, 5, maybe 10 years?
The time is irrelevant, really. However long you’ve been doing this, I just wanted to give you an idea of what it’s like to be in your class.

Here’s a general rundown…
“Okay, class, let’s begin, we have four presenters tonight who will, undoubtedly, be intellectually inferior to me, but what the heck? Let’s give it a shot anyway…”
Halfway through the first person’s introduction, “Alright, so here are the things you did wrong. I know that this is a matter of interpretation, which is usually an opinion, but somehow, you managed to get it wrong. That’s right, I said it, your opinion is wrong. Now let me go off on a tangent from which we will never recover.”
You then proceed to take up anywhere between 20 to 30 minutes of class time on material that, if you had just waited, you would’ve seen on the next slide anyway.
This pattern continues on for awhile, with you interrupting every so often and derailing the entire class’s train of thought, until eventually, everyone gets so exhausted from the emotional and intellectual beating they took, that no one speaks.
The good news is that this allows the presenters to finally finish, sometimes with as much as 20 minutes to spare.
At this point, you once again assume control and try to engage the class in some sort of half-hearted discussion about the materials that we’ve already spent two and a half hours talking about. Most of us (if not all) then resent you for forcing us to stay until the very end of class when all topics of discussion have been exhausted.

Now, does that sound fun? Because I can tell ya, from a student’s perspective, it’s a little lacking. The monotony of it actually makes me want to cause physical harm to myself just in order to experience a new sensation other than boredom or tedium.
Oh, and last thing, while “shushing” people when they’re speaking may have been socially acceptable in pre-school, but at the graduate level, it really just comes off as arrogant and extremely rude. Just some notes for you if you were ever thinking of mixing things up, but really, I don’t see that happening anytime soon, do you?
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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