You may not not know me, but let’s be realistic, I’m more likely to end up on your roster than the other big guy’s.
I’m normally not a big religious person. In fact, in most incarnations of you, you kinda seem like a tool, so it is begrudgingly that I write this letter.
See, I got caught up in that whole “mankind shall not lie with mankind” thing, so it looks like we’re stuck together. (Sounds kinda like a wacky sitcom, doesn’t it?) And I figured if we’re in for a Hellish eternity together, the least I could do was introduce myself.
But then again, by now you’ve probably known me for quite some time. I swear, you sacrifice one goat in the name of Satan and nobody ever lets you forget it…
Anyway, I’ll let ya go. You’ve probably got a lot of work to do. Ya know, some carbo-loading, maybe a Rocky-esque montage before the big fight? So best of luck to ya, I’m sure you won’t need it. Oh, and if some of the crazy Christians are right, I’ll be seein’ ya sometime in the next seven years.