Dear Elderly Woman on the El

It's okay, she's just yawning... I hope

Dear Elderly Woman on the El,
I’m sorry, that was misleading. I really should have said “Elderly Woman at the Addison Red Line Station.”
Some people may not really see much of a difference, but I’ll tell you what it is.
See, in order to be “on the el”, you would have to be moving faster than a quadriplegic in a three-legged race with Stephen Hawking.
I understand that, as we get older we start to slow down, but the mad dash you did for the closing doors of the el? Where was that speed in the first place? I mean, I was impressed… if not slightly annoyed that you didn’t make good use of those jesse Owens-like athletic abilities when you heard the train coming in the first place.
But I guess what’s done is done. Why live in the past? All of that zen bullshit.
Besides, I think you got the idea that I was pretty pissed considering I spent the next 15 minutes shooting you dirty looks as we waited for the next train.
That’ll teach you to mess with a sleep-deprived grad student during finals week…
Sincerely,
Strung out and Sleep Deprived on Sheffield

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