Dear Asshole… Who I Respectfully Disagree With

Dear Asshole… Who I Respectfully Disagree With,
I’m a lover, not a fighter. It’s true. I don’t get into it much with people.
By and large, I’m able to recognize the people who have differing views from me, and so I act accordingly.
I keep conversation pleasant.
I smile and nod at their inane stories.
I avoid topics like politics and religion.
But most importantly, I usually stay the hell away from them.
It may sound cowardly, but it’s 100% effective.
So when I got in a heated discussion, over the internet no less, I was a little less than I pleased.
Nevertheless, before I decided to be the bigger man and step away completely, I noticed a couple areas that could use some improvement.
First and foremost, actually read what the response says. This can help avoid an argument entirely, considering the whole thing was based off of your incorrect reading of a sentence.
Secondly, just because you talk like a pompous ass from one of my graduate classes, doesn’t make me respect you more. The use of terms such as “heretofore” just make you look like a tool. They don’t prove your point for you.
And finally, lose your faith in humanity. The whole argument hinged on one group of people being able to empathize with the disenfranchisement of another group. I’m sorry, that’s not how it works. Two different minorities are still capable of bigotry. In fact, sometimes it make them more likely to form a prejudice. No group of people are perfect nor can you apply a mentality or thought process to an entire group. The tricky thing about a group of people is that it’s made up of different individuals, each with his or her own feelings and opinions.
Follow these last few tips for your next fruitless altercation and I’m sure you’ll come out as the reigning champ.
Just tryin’ to help a brotha out.
Sincerely,
Facebook Feuder

PS Also, never say “I hate to say this, but…” because here’s the thing, you don’t hate to say it, and it’s pretty damn obvious

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