Dear Construction Crew

Dear Construction Crew,
Please by no means think that I’m trying to diminish the importance of your services.
After all, you build buildings, and ya know where I live? That’s right, a building.
You actually might know the building I’m talking about… it’s the one right across the street from where you’re jackhammering and drilling? Recognize the place? You might even know my apartment. I’m on the first floor, the one with all the shades drawn except for the occasional disdainful glare through the blinds.
But in all honesty, it’s not the loud noises that bother me. It’s the fact that you have the most inane conversations at the same volume, regardless of whether the machines are on or off. I’m sorry, I’m sure your friend must have been thrilled, riveted even, when you told that story about losing your tooth when you were a kid.
Me? I personally couldn’t believe my ears. It had to have been the most boring story I’ve come across ever since I asked my nana how her day was on her last birthday and she proceeded to tell me every single detail. Surprisingly enough, her inclusion of her breakfast itinerary might have put it in the lead for the most interesting stories of the two.
Anyway, this isn’t a noise complaint. Well, not in the traditional sense. I’m just begging you, for once, think a thought and don’t say it out loud, especially when drilling is going on, okay? Not askin’ for the moon here, buddy.
Thanks for any help you can provide in allowing me to live out my mundane days in solitude.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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