Dear Gushers

They should put this image on all Gushers as a warning of what Gushers addiction can do to you...

Dear Gushers,
If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly is it that you put in your fruit snacks?
Methamphetamines? Cocaine? Or just good ol’ fashioned high fructose corn syrup?
Whatever it is, I’m forming a dangerous habit.
In the past two days alone, I’ve eaten, like, three boxes of Gushers.
That can’t be good for you… So do me a favor and quit tasting so good, will ya?
Besides, I think it’s high time I took up a healthier habit… maybe I’ll try a prescription pill addiction instead…
I’ll get back to you on how that’s going, but for now, I think it’s best if we got some distance.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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