Dear Baby Gap

Dear Baby Gap,
Seeing as I have no children, nor do I really shop at the Gap, I’m not really sure what this morning’s e-mail was about.
But ya know what, let’s go ahead and play the hypothetical game where I’ve got kids.
I mean, if ya think about it, since I don’t shop at the Gap, what’s the likelihood that they’ll shop there?
Considering they’re still babies and their motor function, not to mention their disposable income, is rather limited, it seems pretty safe to say that my babies in this hypothetical, would not be shopping at Baby Gap.
But who am I kidding? This is already way off base. While I appreciate the sentiment and the form letter mass e-mail wishing “insert name a happy birthday!” you should probably know that I don’t have kids, nor if I did, would they be avid Gap consumers.
I just thought you should know in the spirit of honesty.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

PS Way to make me feel a helluva lot older! I mean, do people still have kids at the age of 24?

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