Dear Former Professor

Dear Former Professor,
Look, I know we shared a bond. for instance, you’re gay and I’m gay.
You teach at DePaul. I learn at DePaul.
… You’re gay and I’m gay.
Yeah, that’s pretty much all I got.
But that’s okay, because that’s kinda what I was hoping to talk to you about…
I know we’ve been running into each other a lot lately. Mainly when I’m on my run… which means mainly when I’m shirtless and stink.
Now I don’t want you to think I’ve got an ego, but I couldn’t help but notice, after that chance encounter, I got a Facebook friend request from you. it’s nothing personal, I just don’t like to share this part of my personal life with people like you. I mean, how else would I get away with writing about you? I guess that is kinda personal after all… Anyways, I just wanted to let you know, the occasional “stud” or ‘Lookin’ good”, while a boost for my self-esteem, is starting to get kinda creepy when paired with a Facebook friend request.
So if you could do me a favor and just erase that mental image and stop trying to be my friend so we can go back to that awkward student-teacher relationship, that’d be great.


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