Dear Magic Tan User (Pt. 2)

Dear Magic Tan User,
I know that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but that only goes so far, now doesn’t it?
If you’re ever gonna get married, you gotta look beautiful to somebody else… oh God, I’m starting to sound like my mother.
Anyways, my point is that, well, you look ridiculous.
I was gonna try and tiptoe around the point and go for something subtle but judging from your fluorescent skin tone, subtlety might not be your thing either.
Forget the fact that you’re exposing yourself to a number of chemicals that your body probably wasn’t supposed to handle in such quantities. That’s right, I’m making the Silkwood argument.
It’s not even about your physical health because, let’s be real, considering I go through about 3 bottles of wine a week, I probably shouldn’t be talking about issues of health.
It just looks gross.
There, I said it. It’s not an eloquent argument and I don’t have the facts and figures to back me up on this one, but I can guarantee that most people without an Oompa Loompa sexual fetish, probably think it looks a little gross. Just thought you should know that.
Sorry I couldn’t find a nicer way to say it, but yeah, there it is.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Dear Magic Tan User (Pt. 2)

  1. Perhaps all spray tan users actually have green skin and peach is the only color to properly cover it up to allow them to pass as “normal.” Maybe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s