Dear Tribunal

Dear Tribunal,
For those just tuning in, that’s what I’ve decided to call for the group of elderly gay men that always congregate at the nearby Caribou Coffee and just sit here and judge.
I could take a moment to discourage you from your ruthless mockery of others or recommend that you at least quiet down or turn up your hearing aids in order to make it subtle, but why bother?
Isn’t that just the pot calling the kettle black, anyways?
No, instead, I’d like to thank you.
For what, you may ask?
For being a shimmering beacon of possibility.
I too hope to, one day, have nothing better to do but wake up at ungodly hours, to shuffle down to the coffee shop, and spend a solid three or more hours just making fun of people.
I mean, I do it enough in my spare time, but to make that my entire day?
That’s the stuff that dreams are made of, my friends.
So thank you, for encouraging me to be the worst type of person I can be.
The fact that you fellas seem to be doin’ okay with it, gives me hope.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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2 thoughts on “Dear Tribunal

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