Dear Potential Suitors

Dear Potential Suitors,
I know that this is highly unorthodox, but I thought I’d give you all a chance to learn a little bit about the wonder that is me.
First, I think it’s important to know that my modesty knows no bounds. Seriously, I don’t like to brag about it, but people should really take a page from my book.
But that’s not nearly as important as my delicately understated sense of humor. For instance, I’ve seen Harold & Kumar at least ten times. If that isn’t highbrow humor, I’m not sure what is…
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I’m kinduva genius. I’m still waiting to hear back from MENSA, but I feel like my application was really strong this year. I even spell-checked it and everything.
So if any of this sounds like it’s up your alley, don’t be shy… after all, who knows how long I’ll be single?
I’m pretty much a catch.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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