Dear Glasses

Dear Glasses,
What the hell? Now, I know you’re probably sensitive to the fact that I’ve been wearing contacts more, but I still rely on you for certain things!
I mean, how else are people gonna know that I’m smart without glasses? Well, at least know that I’m good at pretending to be smart…
I haven’t forgotten about you. You got me through some tough times.
But I guess you’ve abandoned me now.
I’ve been here for less than an hour and already say “am” instead of “are” and wrote the wrong form of “their.”
The illusion is shattered.
I’ve been exposed as the intellectual fraud I am.
Now whenever I wear you, I just feel like a phony…
Disappointedly yours,
Calhoun

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