Dear Booty Call

Dear Booty Call,
I suppose I should at least feign shame or indignation that I’m actually writing this letter to a booty call, but let’s be real, these things need to say.
I can’t speak for most people, but the general appeal of a booty call is a lack of commitment and a general “do as you please” kinda attitude. That’s the great thing about the booty call.
However, the operative word is “call.”
It’s not called a “booty show-up-whenever-you-damn-please-and-ring-the-goddamn-buzzer.”
That might be our first issue. Sure, i could turn it into some big thing, like “you don’t think I have anything better to do than to stay at home and wait for you?” or some bullshit, but who are we kidding? It was one o’clock in the morning, it wasn’t very likely that I was gonna be anywhere else.
In fact, that’s the real problem.
I was home.
I was sleeping.
Ya know how they say that people need their “beauty sleep?” Yeah, I never really bought into it either, but the truth is, you wake me up at one in the morning and I’m an ugly person. Not physically. I mean, c’mon, I’m pretty much always perfection, but I’m talking more about the fact that at one in the morning, I’m much more prone to yelling… and that’s something you may not wanna deal with.
Just something to keep in mind in case you ever wanna stop by at one in the morning.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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