Dear Guy Going Through a Messy Divorce… on the Phone at Caribou

Dear Guy Going Through a Messy Divorce… on the Phone at Caribou,
Look, I get it. You love this woman.
Okay, you kinda struck me as a raging homo, so I admit I don’t get all of the specifics but I understand what you’re going through. And much like you, I probably would’ve gone out and gotten hammered the night before. Hell, I’d still probably be a little drunk from the previous night.
But good lord, man. I have never smelled the sickening mixture of vodka and regret so clearly. Seriously, you smelled as if you’d taken a shower in it.
But if we’re talking about the list of things I wouldn’t do, we’ve got a long list ahead of us, don’t we?
I wouldn’t have chosen to recover from my bender by camping out in a coffee shop.
I wouldn’t discuss the dissolution of my marriage loudly on a cell phone.
I certainly wouldn’t hand the phone to the young woman next to me and ask her to argue my case.
So yeah, there are plenty of things I wouldn’t do, but maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t be doing them either.
I’m not holding myself up as some pillar of moral virtue who also does the right thing or anything like that. In fact, I frequently screw up, but I feel pretty confident on this one.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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4 thoughts on “Dear Guy Going Through a Messy Divorce… on the Phone at Caribou

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