Look, I know it’s hard when your youngest boy becomes a man, but it’s time to face the facts.
I’ve got a beard now, ma. Yes, there was once a time when I struggled to grow facial hair… and you kindly called my honest attempts “facial pubic hair.” That’s all over now, okay?
We’re talkin’ full-on whiskers. Like, it’s the real deal.
You’re regretting those days you used to mock my facial hair, because now I’m growing a beard.
Part of it is so I look more “mature” but now, there’s a little bit of spite mixed in with it.
So don’t mess with me. Got it?
PS love you, mean it!