Dear UPS Guy

Dear UPS Guy,
I don’t normally answer the door like that.
Seriously, I don’t.
But here’s the thing. It’s, like, crazy hot in my apartment right now, made worse by the 55 lbs. dog that opts to sleep on my chest.
The only way it’s bearable is when I wear… well, let’s just say less is more.
Besides, I’ve totally seen dudes wearing gym shorts that are shorter than my boxer briefs, so don’t even act all traumatized, okay?
However, in hindsight, asking “do you have a package for me?” was a poor choice of words… sorry.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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