Dear Red Meat

Dear Red Meat,
How have you been? It’s been a while. What is it, like, 3, 4 years?
You look well.
I’m sorry, I promised myself I wasn’t gonna do this.
Look, I know when we last spoke we both said a lotta things we wish we could take back, a lotta things we didn’t mean.
Like, you were gonna give me heart disease, and you were making me fat.
That’s why I ended it. But I just want you to know, not a day goes by that I don’t think about you.
I mean, the unspeakable things I would do for a hamburger or a steak.
But a promise is a promise. I said to myself, “don’t go crawling back, you’re better than that. Good God man, have some self-respect!”
But just know, from time to time, you cross my mind.
In fact… I miss you.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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