Dear Bar Patron

Dear Bar Patron,
I don’t think of myself as the most difficult guy.
In fact, I tend to be pretty easygoing.
But everybody has their limits, right? It’s not that I’m not flattered, but there’s something to be said about your approach.
Directness is usually a good thing, but there’s an exception to just about every rule.
For instance, is a little witty banter too much to ask?
Judging from the dumbfound expression on your face when I didn’t respond to your charm, I’d say any sort of wit might be a stretch, but it was worth a shot.
Even if you’re not the most sparkling conversationalist, “you’re hot” is easily the worst excuse for a pick-up line I’ve ever heard.
Then let’s talk about your choice of location.
I practically ran into as I headed into the bathroom. When I apologized for my inadvertent rudeness, I was met with, “Don’t be sorry. You’re hot.”
Now, like I said, that’s never really a winning line, but the fact that I could smell the cheap vodka on your breath mixed with the pungent aroma of urinal cakes? Well, it certainly didn’t help your case.
In short, you’ve got some work to do, buddy, but here’s to hoping next time.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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