Dear Autocorrect

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Dear Autocorrect,
We’ve been friends for awhile now. I’d like to think I know you… or rather, you know me.
Sure, we were a little cautious at first, but who isn’t in any new relationship?
In time, we got over it and in time, I even grew to love you. You knew me so well. Who else knew that I like to end my texts with words like “yo” and “dawg” (not to be confused with “to” and “saw”)?
I knew when I got a new phone, things would be different. We had history. All of a sudden all of it was gone. I know it’ll be hard for you to trust me again, but please, just give me a chance… give us a chance.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

P.S. In the future, my most frequently texted word is “cunt” so you can stop correcting it to “vinyl”

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