Dear Friends from the Midwest

Dear Friends from the Midwest,
I’m glad that I’m missed. I sincerely am.
I’ve never felt so popular before.
But popular at 6 in the morning?
That’s the kind of popular I never want to be.
I understand that this used to be 8 AM in Chicago, something I can live with, but in between the sofa I’m sharing with my dog and the general anxiety over moving to a new place, a fella needs his beauty rest.
I don’t mean to sound like a jerk about this, because I really am so excited to hear from people back in Chicago or in Ohio or Kansas or wherever, but maybe save those for a little later in the day?
The bags under my eyes and I thank you for your consideration.


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