Dear Crackhead Homeless Dude

Dear Crackhead Homeless Dude,
Hi, how are you? Well, you seem to have a meth problem and no place to sleep so I can only assume not good, but that’s neither here nor there.
I was struck by something you said the other day.
“You need to smile more.” It’s not an uncommon thing for me to hear.
Back in Chicago, I even earned the nickname “smiley” because evidently, according to most folks, I don’t do it much.
But something about your declaration hit home for me.
If a guy with nowhere to live and no more than five teeth remaining in his mouth can smile, why can’t I?
So I’m gonna give it a try, but I can pretty much guarantee that me smiling is far more unsettling than me stone-faced.
Consider yourself warned.


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