Dear Building Manager

Dear Building Manager,
For those reading, I should probably clarify, I am not referring to my building manager but rather, the one across the way.
Look, I know we’ve seen each other before. Hell, we’ve made eye contact on multiple occasions but for some reason, I’ve never introduced myself.
I apologize, that was rude of me.
My name’s Calhoun.
Now can you please get your chihuahuas to shut the fuck up?
Look, I know in that other building, you’re, like, the head honcho, but face it, you have no pull over here. You can’t intimidate me to keep me from complaining about those yippy little dogs.
That being said, I would never actually complain but I am starting to hate your dogs so much that punting them across the courtyard has become a seriously viable option for me.
Let’s stop the madness before it comes to that, shall we? Find a way to shut your dogs up.


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