Dear Gentleman with the Tiny Terrier

Dear Gentleman with the Tiny Terrier,
Look, you seem like a nice guy. I’ve enjoyed our minimal, monosyllabic exchanges at 7:30 in the morning. Well, as much as anyone enjoys anything at that ungodly hour.
But I will not hesitate to let my dog eat yours if your piss-poor excuse for a dog starts yapping at me again.
It’s not the “barking.” It’s not even the unbearable shrillness of it.
It’s the fact that it happens every single day.
So knock it off.
Love,
Calhoun

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