Dear Elitist Asshole

Dear Elitist Asshole,
I knew I didn’t like you. As soon as I walked in and you flashed that sleazy, used-car-salesman smile, I had a feeling that we weren’t gonna get along.
Still, I was content to put my earbuds in and ignore your general existence until you left the shop, but my God, I have never heard anyone so loud.
It was painful enough to listen to you talk about status and the “finer things,” but that wasn’t even what did me in.
The exact moment I lost what little respect I had for you to begin with was in that instant where you uttered the single most deplorable sentence in the English language.
“I vote independent.”
You wanna brag about your money and the people you know? That’s fine.
Obnoxious, but fine.
But the minute you describe yourself as an “independent” and effectively throw your vote away, that is when we have a problem.
So please, next time you want to stop, grab a coffee, and wax philosophic about your pseudo-intellectual political theories, do me a favor and keep driving.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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4 thoughts on “Dear Elitist Asshole

  1. Love this! I have a couple of friends that are “independents”. You know what? Pick a freakin’ side, have an opinion, and AND don’t look with bemusement upon those of us who do have opinions and voice them like you are above the fray. Gah. Sorry, that kinda got me going.

  2. People who say they are independents are just better off saying “I’m _____ but I steal one or two views from the other side once in a while” – because that’s usually what it means. And there’s nothin’ wrong with that! There’s no black and white, just be more honest ’bout it!

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