Dear Israeli Family Next Door

Dear Israeli Family Next Door,
While I’m always one for the spirit of lively debate, at 6:30 AM, I can’t help but wonder what’s so goddamn important?
I may be able to tell, but I’m not so good with Hebrew.
“Shalom” means hello, goodbye, and peace… and that’s about it.
But regardless, I can’t imagine you yelling at your wife is so important that it warrants waking me up and freaking out the dog.
Well, no, not just freaking out.
Because of your yelling, the dog jumped up, promptly landing on… well, on my boys.
Have you ever woken up to someone stomping your grapes?
Not fun, dude. Not fun.
So if you could save the freak-outs for later in the day or, hell, maybe not at all?
That’d be great for me and my hope of children someday.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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