Dear Morning Drivers

Dear Morning Drivers,
Hi, you might have seen me before. I’m the guy walking his dog at an ungodly early hour?
Anyways, it’s not important if you’ve seen me or not, but this letter is to the ones on Crescent Heights this morning.
You may have noticed me cross the street with my dog, only to cross back about a minute later sans one shoe. Allow me to explain.
The dog had to go to the bathroom and somewhere along the way I had lost the dog waste bag, so I left my shoe as collateral to, ya know, prove that I was actually coming back to clean up the mess.
Look, I’m not saying that it was the most logical thing, but I wanted the owners of that lawn to know that I’m not a total asshole.
Okay, I thought explaining this would make me feel a little less insane for doing it, but ya know, on page, it actually sounds even crazier.
Like, Zelda Fitzgerald-style crazy.
My bad, forget I said anything.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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2 thoughts on “Dear Morning Drivers

  1. That is Zelda crazy. I have had people follow me and say, “your dog pooped over there!” Yes, I know he weighs 135 pounds, I noticed that. And I will be back to get it but why pick it up at the beginning of the walk and carry it around for an hour?

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