Dear Tom Hardy

Dear Tom Hardy,
How are you? Love you, seriously love everything about you, but- well, we need to talk.
Look, my stuff with The Dark Knight Rises is my own. I don’t expect you to take the fall for this one, but um… what- uh, what is goin’ on with Bane?
Well, specifically his voice. Look, I mean, I wanted to get into it, but every time you talked all I heard was, like, a bad Sean Connery accent with heavy breathing.
Was that what you were going for? Cuz if so, job well done, but yeah, it was- well, interesting to say the least.
Oh yeah, and I also just wanted to throw one more thing at you. I don’t mean to be shallow but, uh, can you go back to being pretty?
I mean, Bronson you kinda freak my shit out, and you were pretty roided up for Warrior. I mean, sure, you were pretty in This Means Wars but I mean, dude, c’mon, it was This Means War.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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