Dear Homeless Jesus Freak

Dear Homeless Jesus Freak,
Let’s get one thing straight.
As I limped past you on crutches, I avoided eye contact for a reason.
I’m not having a great day and the last thing I needed was more awkward and unnecessary contact with other people.
It was only when you muttered, “He will save you. The Lord, Jesus.” that I looked up.
Now, this next bit, I’m willing to admit I may have behaved poorly.
“I don’t need your God to save me.”
You looked slightly taken aback, either because of my response or because I get the feeling most people don’t respond to you.
Whichever the case may be, let me clarify my remarks.
The idea that I need to be saved at all is a bit presumptuous.
You don’t know me and my hedonistic ways. I could be a goddamn living saint (although I’m fairly sure saints don’t take the lord’s name in vain) but you have no clue who I am so to assume the worst is kinduva dick move.
Finally, you’ve got me all wrong. Jesus? That guy is for chumps.
I worship at the altar of Batman, thank you very much.
So why don’t you take your grocery cart and your prayers and shuffle along? I think it’d probably be best for everyone involved.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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One thought on “Dear Homeless Jesus Freak

  1. Pingback: We are supposed to be extensions of God’s will. « Transient Reflections

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