Dear Dan Cathy

Dear Dan Cathy,
How was your day yesterday? I only ask because of the swarm of angry homos gathered around various Chick-Fil-A locations in the LA area. I think they were out celebrating?
Yeah, I heard about some bullshit made up holiday, something like Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day?
Well, Dan, since I’m sure you’re riveted, lemme share with you why I chose not to participate.
First and foremost, I love my body. Sure, it may not seem like it when I finish two bottles of wine, but I do. That’s why I make sure to take care of it, give or take a few vices. I’m not saying I’m better than eating fast food because I get cravings sometimes, just like everybody else, but I have too much self-respect, as well as respect for my arteries, to enjoy Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day.
Secondly, well, I dunno how to tell you this since we just met and all, but… I’m a big homo.
No, I don’t like Liza, Barbara, or Bette, and I don’t end every sentence with “fabulous” or “divine” but I’m pretty into dudes either way. Last time I checked, that was pretty much the only qualification… so your statements about your support of “traditional” marriage? Well, it just didn’t sit right with an “alternative” fella like myself.
But honestly, this isn’t about me. Hell, it’s hardly even about you. I’ve grown up around ignorance. I don’t like it, but it’s nothing new to me so to resent you for your stance? Well, that just isn’t my thing.
I can not like you. I can encourage others to spend their money elsewhere. I can choose to not spend my money there. And I’ve done all those things. But the fact of the matter is, you’re right. You are entitled to your freedom of speech as an American, no matter how antiquated or ignorant it may be.
But here’s my problem. In the same interview that you said you support “traditional” marriage, you also said something else that struck a chord with me.
“Thank the Lord we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”
This quote is a little troubling for a number of reasons.
Funding people that want to force marriage to be defined as between a man and a woman isn’t “sharing” values. It’s bullying, pure and simple.
And this operating on biblical principles thing? Yeah, you’re totally entitled to that, and that’s awesome for you, but that last bit isn’t really what America is about. America, although it’s a tricky area, wasn’t really founded so you could operate on biblical principles. In fact, it was founded for the exact opposite reason, so that people that didn’t subscribe to one view of God could live without fear of persecution. But you are entitled to live your life and operate on whatever biblical principles you see fit, I guess.
But my biggest issue is with the language of this. You even say “We know that it may not be popular…”
And when it wasn’t popular. What did you do? You cried about it.
You bitched and moaned, made up a holiday that celebrates bigotry and obesity, and played the victim of the liberal agenda to promote equality.
Yeah, I feel really bad for you… Honestly, that’s what I find so reprehensible about this ordeal.
Oppose loving families all you want, history will be on our side when your antiquated methods of bigotry fail you.
But don’t hide behind your ignorance as if it’s some act of sacrifice on your part.
You made a choice. The rest of Americans that don’t support your ridiculous judgments are making theirs.
Learn to fucking deal with it.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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4 thoughts on “Dear Dan Cathy

  1. I will never understand how someone can say in one breath “Love everyone” while quoting the Bible and then not promote equality for others. And I’m a Christian. smh

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