Dear Gay Couple with the Miniature Airedale

Dear Gay Couple with the Miniature Airedale,
I’m glad you’ve found each other. It’s so hard to find someone who shares your affinity for miniature animals these days, isn’t it?
But, really? Good on you that you’ve got someone, but as you walk past the coffee shop window where I am typing, and you give me that “awww, you’ll find someone someday” look, I wanna snap.
It’s rude. It’s condescending. It’s not really on my list of things to do today.
Let’s see… laundry, clean the goddamn kitchen… again, and walk the dog.
Yup, nowhere does it say “find a soul mate” or “endure the pity of a couple and their dog.”
So, ya know, if I’ve got the time, I’ll get right on that, but until then, don’t lose any sleep over my oh-so-troubling bachelorhood.
I’ll be just fine without the pity.


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