Dear Karl

Dear Karl,
Seeing as you’re my dog and all, there are some things you and I will never share.
My level of reading comprehension, for example.
So while I know you’ll never be able to read this (unless I read it to you) and you’ll certainly never be able to understand it, I just thought I’d go ahead and get this off my chest.
When you have an accident in the house? I try not to get too annoyed, and I simply clean it up.
Even when you go to the bathroom in the yard, I grin and bear it, and I clean it up.
But it’s not the bathroom duties that disturb me so much.
It’s more, well, the looks. You’re my dog, it’s only natural that I look after you.
But when you give me that look of humiliation as you lock eyes with me while you defecate?
Well, it’s… it’s creepy is what it is. So if you could knock it off? It’d be much appreciated.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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