Dear Beach Cops

Dear Beach Cops,
I’m sure what you do is very serious work… well, allow me to rephrase that. I’m sure you think what you do is very serious work. Ya know, preventing people from getting handjobs at night while they hang out in the lifeguard towers is a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it, right?
All I’m saying is, you might not wanna be so sanctimonious about the work that you do. I mean, after all, what’s the harm in skinnydipping in the Pacific Ocean at night? … what, I mean, that was just, like a random example that came to mind, no reason at all. Nope. Never done that before… certainly not last night…
Ya know what? I’m just gonna leave it at good job beach cops. I don’t wanna further incriminate myself.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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