Dear Cops

Dear Cops,
Look, I appreciate you doing your duty and keeping the neighborhood safe, but can we talk about your methods?
For instance, evidently there was, like, a prowler or something across the street? I couldn’t say for sure, cuz the speaker was… well, unintelligible. Yeah, whoever you have on that thing needs to back it up a little because his speech is pretty muffled.
Anyways, like I said, I appreciate what you’re doing by flying around the neighborhood and keepin’ us safe and all that, but… well, this is kinda awkward… I was kinda trying to watch something.
It was right when Amy Poehler gives that awesome speech at the end of season four of Parks & Recreation and, well, I couldn’t hear it with your little fly-by.
So if you guys could be a little quieter while you’re trying to apprehend a dangerous criminal, Leslie Knope and I would really appreciate that. Thanks.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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