Dear Jim Lehrer

Dear Jim Lehrer,
I know the pressure when it comes to moderating the National Presidential Debate must be enormous, but can I give you some tips?

1. Don’t let one of the nominees bully you and/or talk over you. When you call time, it is time.
2. Avoid touchy-feely statements. At one point the debate started to feel like a bad marriage counseling session. Neither Romney or Obama are gonna use their “I feel” statements so you should probably just quit while you’re ahead.
3. Maintain the illusion of being informed. Sure, you knew the political buzz words, but your questions lacked any depth or specificity. Why, you may ask? Because I’m pretty sure you had no idea what you were talking about.

Stay on top of these three useful tips and I’m sure your next moderation will run much more smoothly… Oh, who are we kidding? I don’t have a lotta faith in the National Vice-Presidential Debate going much more smoothly, but still, I figured I’d at least pretend that I had faith in your abilities… Godspeed, sir.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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