Dear Old Couple Next Door

Dear Old Couple Next Door,
I think it’s time we had a talk. See, I’m about to leave this apartment complex behind so I feel like I can be frank with you.
It’s, well, it’s about your exercise routine. More specifically, it’s about your grunts and groans as you sweat to the oldies with your windows wide open.
The repeated “hep” and “uhh” of your workout routine- well, it’s disturbing.
Plus, I think we should talk about… I mean, what’s it actually doing for you, anyways?
I say you just give in, admit that both of you have maybe two good years left and enjoy it at that.
You get to enjoy your last days with your loved ones and I don’t hafta wake up to your vaguely pornographic moans set to calisthenics. At least, that’s my suggestion. Think it over. Hell, maybe even go out to McDonald’s and get some burgers, have one last hurrah before you inevitably croak. Again, just a thought but don’t rule it out too quickly…
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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