Dear 19 Year Old Me

Dear 19 Year Old Me,
A lot has changed in the past six years. I mean, we finally got that awful Bush guy outta the White House, SNL stopped being funny, and on top of all that, you are technically an adult now.
Actually, that’s kinda what I wanted to talk to you about… not only are you an adult at 25, but, well, you’re kinda an old man. I mean, you spent most of yesterday bedridden because of a hangover.
Not just any hangover though, you got yourself a wine hangover, the most middle-aged of all hangovers.
So live it up, buddy. Enjoy your carefree drinking days and don’t take the “no hangover” thing for granted.
Actually… wait, you’re 19? I meant to say, “don’t drink for two more years because it’s illegal…”
Yeah, no, I definitely meant the first one. Enjoy your partying days because they’re long behind me now.


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