Dear Potential Employers (Pt. 2)

Dear Potential Employers,
… hire me? Oh, I’m sorry, where is my sense of professionalism? Hire me, please.
See, I’m not gonna lie to you. Am I the perfect employee? No.
Am I probably gonna show up to work hungover? Most definitely.
But here’s the thing, and I don’t mean to sound cocky or anything, but most of the jobs that I’ve been turned down for?
A monkey could do them. Not even a super-smart one. I’m talking the monkey who graduated last in his class from monkey college.
(Side note, how cute does monkey college sound? Ooh, and their graduation ceremony? Little chimps throwin’ their little graduation hats in the air… okay, I’ve lost focus, back to the point at hand)
I’ve been hearing a lot of “over-qualified” which, I must admit, I’m a little confused on. Over-qualified is… bad? I mean, I’m choosing to work in a place that they won’t hire me because they, what, want better things for me? Well, if I’m over-qualified just about everywhere I go, that kinda leaves me broke and job-less.
What level of over-qualification means you can’t get a job anywhere?
If by “over-qualified” you mean “we’re not willing to pay you what you’re worth in the working world,” that’s cool too. I’ll take a serious salary cut because, well, right now, I don’t have a salary.
Think about our talk. If I don’t get a job soon, I may hafta get another degree just to put off adulthood.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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