Dear American Horror Story: Asylum

Dear American Horror Story: Asylum,
I appreciate what you’re trying to do. Really, I do. Long form narrative is getting big in the horror world (just look at the Paranormal Activity franchise) but we need to talk about your… er… um… methods? Yeah, we’ll call ’em methods.
See, right now, everything’s a little crazy. You’re throwing shit at the wall, hoping that something sticks.
You’re trying to scare so many people that you’ve got slasher tropes, sci-fi material, and exorcism motifs?
Well, I’m not, like, the horror gestapo or anything (an homage to this week’s episode… get it?) but… ya can’t really do that. It just makes for a really inconsistent show when you try to get a taste of all those genres, frequently in the same episode.
Furthermore, can we talk about the blatant rip-offs? I mean, I was willing to forgive some of the similarities, but when you straight up pulled a Boxing Helena? Not cool, Murphy.
Try giving some of the credit where credit is due, instead of hogging the glory for some of this stuff. Plus, it works out in your favor, because if people end up not liking it? “Oh, well, it was actually inspired by someone else’s work…” Bam! Shifts the blame off of you. Anyways, think about it.
Oh, and tell Jessica Lange to lock that accent down. I mean, what are we talkin’ about, New York, Boston? I have no idea what that accent is since it changes every other sentence.
Oh, and just an idea for next season? Get some horror fans as consultants. It can only help you guys in the long run to make a stronger show, just a thought.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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